After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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