Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
