She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
