if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
