So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
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