Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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