once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
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