I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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