remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Randomize
