How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
