We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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