forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
