woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
