ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
the condom got lost in my hair
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
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