I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
