On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
