I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
