I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
