i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
