i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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