Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
