he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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