Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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