Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
