I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
