He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
