butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
