this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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