I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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