My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Randomize
