I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
