Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
