we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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