I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
