We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
