scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
