Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
