I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
