he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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