Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
