My sheets look like a crime scene.
id be glad to
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Randomize
