We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
