Jerry, you need to find god
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
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