so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Randomize
