I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
