i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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