mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
