just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
