I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
