So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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