so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
