just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Randomize
