After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
