I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
You're breaking my sexual little heart
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