You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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