So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
